and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
