What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize
