Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
