I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
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