I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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