Banned from zoo.
Again?
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
