So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize