drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
What happened to fro yo and sex?
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
