Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
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