this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
you started puking right when a nickelback song came on..it was epic
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
