he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
FUCK WHALES
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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