TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Randomize
