if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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