i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
Randomize
