she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
