Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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