what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
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