wakey wakey hands off snakey
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
