Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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