she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
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