ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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