Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
