i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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