It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
