I wish i was in the wii world.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize