im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize
