he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
