Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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