dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
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