I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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