ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
