Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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