Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
