dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
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