We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
