His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
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