I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
