yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
My cat gives me a boner
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
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