True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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