It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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