I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Funny how often beer equates to second degree burns on some portion of my body.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Randomize
