Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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