after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Randomize
