It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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