I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
