I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
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