Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
