I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
We need to rekindle our bromance
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
