so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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