his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize