I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
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