so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
