Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
