What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
