We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
