My hair reeks of homosexuality.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize