She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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