my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
