Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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