at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Randomize
