New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
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