So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize