I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
He has the fingertips of a God
Randomize
