why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Guess who's still drunk but on time to court to represent a DUI?
You are my hero
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Randomize
