accomplished twins. life is a go
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Randomize
