Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Randomize