before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
