So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Randomize
