so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize
