this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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