when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
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