it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
just so you know.. snorkeling hungover: great decision. I was throwing up and he couldn't even tell!
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
Randomize
